In my job, I’ve helped a lot of people quit smoking. And I’ve heard a lot of reasons why smoking is a good thing.
Smoking helps you think, relaxes you, de-stresses you, keeps you from getting upset at your family, tastes good with coffee, tastes really good after a meal. Basically, makes things “better” and makes you feel “better”.
I know you don’t really believe these reasons, or why would you be trying to stop smoking. Still, a part of you DOES believe these reasons.
You do have a strong reason to keep smoking or you would have quit by now. Just so you know, there are not any laws stating your reason to keep smoking needs to make any sense. It rarely does.
Almost all of the reasons you continue smoking can easily be proven wrong. Example: Maybe smoking helps you relax during work breaks because you get away and go outside to do it.
Most of the time you KNOW the reason doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t change the craving though, does it? Just one more one more reason in your list of reasons to quit. A list that doesn’t have much chance against the well-rooted cravings to smoke.
It’s basically about two things. The motivation that smoking will make you feel better and the feeling that you’re trying to feel better than. That is all.
If you’re hungry you feel like eating. If you’re tired, you feel like sleeping. If you feel bad (stressed, over-burdened, upset, alone, whatever…) you want to feel good. And, whatever your mind has learned feels good, you feel like doing.
This is an only slightly simplified explanation of a craving. Most smokers have more than one type of craving like, the ‘first thing in the morning’ craving feels different than the ‘after lunch’ craving. But the same model applies.
SO, how do you change these things? I can write on and on about this (and I have on my web site) It will come down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.
First, the bad feeling needs to be helped. If it’s about stress, get it managed, if it’s a difficult situation, do what you can to take care of it or get some help. If it’s a bad feeling you get that is beyond what the situation deserves, behavior modification might be what you need.
Second, the belief that smoking makes you feel good (it is often the mistaken, and understandable, belief that smoking equals being an adult, in control, strong, capable, etc…) The fact is, smoking is some plant leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling you’re looking for, and sometimes experience, is created by YOU. YOU make yourself feel better when you smoke. You can make yourself feel just as good when drinking a glass of water. If, your mind believes it.
And there’s the trick for most people. Successfully quitting smoking is much easier after changing these emotional connections. People don’t often think of this. That is why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with their medication.
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