Health Network News

Remember when you were in your twenties and romance was foremost on your mind? We may have had a lot of work to do but Mother Nature made sure that we kept looking for or thinking about that special someone. Once we get old, it seems that we are expected by modern society to forget about romance and sex.

I think young adults are uncomfortable to consider senior citizens in romantic or sexual situations, therefore the media and advertising gurus seldom portray us in that light. You can see this fallacy operating on multiple levels. The only commercials depicting seniors interested in sex are the ones selling male impotence drugs. You’d think that every man over 50 could no longer perform without help. Men and women enjoying each other romantically and sexually in their sunset years is more the reality than the media would lead us to believe.

Seniors continue to have a healthy sex life and are interested in romance and strong passionate relationships. Barring illness, active seniors are freer now than they have ever been to pursue romance and passion now that they don’t have to consider taking care of children. Many within the family; especially adult children may see this behavior as reckless or uncharacteristic of their parents.

When you’ve spent your life being responsible for others, it is perfectly natural to begin to express your freedom and individuality once you retire. Trying to live your own life after decades of sacrificing for others may take a little time for adjustment. This adjustment in a mature marriage can sometimes be rocky until both parties revive their passion for each other and the reasons they came together in the first place.

Seniors can have a whole new level of intimacy and romance in this new era. Getting together with friends in the middle of the afternoon or contributing time at a church function can have a whole new sense of purpose and commitment as well as just being fun. Getting out together can be fun and exciting when you find the focus you once had on each others needs and desires.

It’s now a matter of your own choosing if you wish to pattern your rekindled love affair after movies like “9 1/2 Weeks (1986)” or “The Love Letter (1998).” Mother nature may not have the same influence on couples in their senior years as she did during their teens; the romance and feelings of love and lust may not take on the same urgency as it did during child rearing years. Single seniors should be encouraged to enjoy time with others and develop intimate relationships in a healthy and fulfilling environment.

Filling the gap left by a loved one who has passed can be daunting for many; continuing to share life with others and convert grief into a commitment to give and receive love may not only fill that gap but bring about emotional transformation. The feelings of loss can leave some seniors emotionally distant far longer than the healing process has accounted for. It is important to remember that life is still worthwhile and there is still much to contribute to it.

Many seniors experienced a sense of youthful rebellion while moving into what many euphemistically call a second childhood phase; this can actually be a good thing. Although there might be a certain level of immaturity being exhibited, this attitude may also contribute to a new lease on life. Every so often, you have to throw caution to the wind and go ahead and have fun into the night, go rock climbing or go to a rock concert. This kind of exhibition may seem to require outside intervention because of the seemingly chaotic actions and abrupt changes you may exhibit but in the end it is simply the phase in which you begin to stretch the boundaries that are set by your social circle. There is no reason to deny your romantic and sexual self as seniors when you have spent so much of your life sacrificing for your children or being responsible for others.